Who Wears the Pants Scene 17

 

 

Anita was of a different mettle altogether. She wanted her life and her surroundings to reflect an harmonious whole. She eschewed the current fashions and sought those things that pleased her. The furnishings in the house were a mirror of her personality; solid, time-honored and dependable. She had no place in her home for the light airy elegance of Queen Anne or even the more solid Chippendale. Her kitchen table had been erroneously labeled “Mission” style at the furniture outlet, even though it was clearly a derivation of Spanish Colonial. Frankly, it was a trestle table constructed of solid masses of oaken plank in the manner of medieval monasteries rather than being a modern reproduction of a Spanish Colonial piece. The scars of normal living on its upper surface only served to enhance its attractiveness, much like the few silver hairs in mature Anita’s coiffure lent character to her appearance. Nevertheless, the scrapes and discolorations of use fit in well with the heavy dark oaken furniture with which she populated each room. The house itself was constructed in a Ranch style, which was appropriate for the Southwestern area in which they lived. Howard had been indifferent to the design of the house when they purchased it, he was only interested in the price and mortgage payments. When Anita suggested that they zeroscape the landscaping to reduce the impact on the ecology, Howard had agreed without rancor. He had no interest in spending his weekends mowing laws and gardening. Rocks and desert plants that required little fuss or watering were fine with him. A house was only a place to toss his dirty clothes at the end of the day and watch a little tube before dinner. He cared next to nothing about the house that Anita had chosen and was glad that she had the good sense to arrange things so that its management would be as simple as possible.

 

Instead of using the more traditional red color associated with Spanish Colonial, Anita had chosen to decorate her house in forest greens and a dark beige that bordered on being brown. The colors blended well with her indoor plants and gave the impression of growing things even though their front yard was populated with white gravel, yuccas and cacti rather than the water-slurping St. Augustine carpet grass of their neighbors. At first their male neighbors had howled about their landscaping scheme, but after the first summer of grass-browning, root-deadening, scorching heat, they changed their collective minds and decided that the immaculate look of their yard wasn’t as awful as they had imagined. Of course, being men, that wasn’t all that changed their puny, self-righteous minds.

 

After church on Sundays, some of Anita’s female friends from the neighborhood would come over to a light brunch of rolls and coffee. Anita would make croissants, orange coffee rolls and miniature quiches to serve her friends in the kitchen while Howard amused himself with Sunday sports programming on the TV. Along with her fresh-ground, filter-brewed Brazilian coffee, her bunches allayed the ill will of the neighborhood and solidified her position in the local community as a woman of merit. She always bought candy from the neighborhood children during fund-raising periods and could be counted on for assistance whenever the other women needed her. Never had she refused a request for an egg or a cup full of sugar. As a neighbor, she was a gem. It didn’t take long for the wives in the neighborhood to convince their husbands that Anita’s presence was an asset to the community and that their grumblings over the “house with no lawn” were unfounded. Indeed, after hearing Anita talk about the reduced water bills and seeing the water invoices themselves, several of the women convinced their husbands to zeroscape their landscapes as well. It was only sensible to adapt to the ecology rather than fight it. Anita made friends early in their residency.